According to WordPress, this will be my one hundredth published post on this blog. This is not my hundredth post though. Not by bar. Saved on this instance of WordPress alone is over a hundred and seventy posts. It’s just seventy of them are unpublished.
Most of those have previously been published, and then retracted. About two years ago, I went though an unpublished a whole lot. Most of the ones I unpublished had to deal with my deconversion from Christianity to Atheism. It was a tough experience, I wrote about it extensively, mainly very negative things about Christianity. I don’t feel the need to talk about my religion publicly any more, so I unpublished them. It’s just easier.
My political beliefs have gone through a similar radical transition, from conservative, to ayn rand libertarian, to liberalism now. I don’t feel the need to really talk about those things publicly. I just don’t see much point. Most people are unwilling to change their minds on it, and I find that very frustrating, especially given how much I’ve changed my own. I can talk about it in small groups under careful circumstances, but it really doesn’t come up that much.
There are some other things. Silliness that made sense to me in the moment, but doesn’t any more. Moments of uncomfortable introspection and self-reference. I love self-reference a lot, but I’m beginning to think that too much self-reference is kind of dangerous.
Part of me things I should just own all these things. For good or bad(mostly bad), they are a part of my history. They are a reminder of where I’ve come from, and documentation of what I thought. But you don’t need those things. Only me. So there they’ll stay.
Happy 100th Post!